Nervousness (Anna)

Another crossover, Caitlin comes knocking on Anna's door in the middle of the night.

The College of winterhold 2:53 AM


“What's that banging noise?” I sit up in bed and throw the covers back, Farkas wakes up moments after “Where you going?” He rubs his eyes and sits up too. “Don't you hear that banging noise?” I ask, “It's coming from over there.” I point to the stairwell that leads from the arch mage's quarters down to the courtyard. We look at each other then quickly get out of bed and down the stairs, tugging open the oak wood door. It's the gatekeeper, who guards the enterence to the college, a high elven woman named Faralda, and with her is a dark haired, shivering, young woman...Caitlin Netherfield. She looks at us, I can see her eyes are red, she must have been crying. Faralda speaks then “She tried to enter the college, when I said she may not she mentioned you. Apparently she needs to talk to you.” I nod “Thank you Faralda, your dismissed, I shall speak with her. Return to your duties.” The Mage bows and walks away back across the crumbling bridge to her post. “Here, come on Caitlin, let's go inside.” I put an arm around her and lead her inside. Farkas who was standing on the stairs waves slightly to Caitlin. We walk up the stone stairs to the main room of the quarters, I grab Caitlin a chair and a blanket. She had no coat, and honestly if you're in Skyrim, you either need a coat, a lot of layers, or at least long sleeves. Unless you happen to be a Nord, like Farkas and Vilkas, or Alea, as they have a genetic resistance to the cold, like I do to hostile magic. “Why are you here, Caitlin?” I ask as I sit down across from her, she opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out, she tries again, and again, and then after another attempt, simply breaks down. Caitlin buries her face in her hands sobbing. She says something then, only I can't figure out what it was, I glance at Farkas, he just shrugs. I lean in “What'd you say? I didn't quite catch that.” She looks up and says very slowly “Alice- Alice is in the hospital. She, S-she has Cancer.” And breaks again. I sit there unmoving, numb, why could such things happen to a girl like Alice? But then the thought dawns on me, Illnesses don't choose their hosts, like Daedra do. Instead they fumble through the dark searching for their next victim, sort of like pulling names out of a hat. Diseases don't discriminate, they don't care who you are, or what you've been through, your circumstances and your personality don't matter. What only matters is if you are alive, and that is it. To a disease, you aren't a person...simply a host. Caitlin is shaking, she's more than just distraught- she's a nervous wreck. I look over at my desk, the pile of yesterday's mail. One in particular stands out to me, The one with the red and gold seal, in the shape of a roaring lion, Valans seal. I get up and retrieve the letter, taking the dagger from the table and slicing the envelope open, taking out the yellow-white parchment. “What's that?” Caitlin asks wiping her tears from her eyes. “A letter, from a friend of mine in Morrowind. Do you know a man by the name of Valan Velothi?” Caitlin nods her head “Doctor Shelder, Alice's Doctor, mentioned him. Said he and another person, Sammie I think was the name, brought Alice into the hospital. And he sent me a small package that was from Alice, with a string of metallic and different patterned paper origami cranes. Why did he send you a letter?” I open the creased paper and scan it quickly, judging by the handwriting in guessing it was written rather late at night, or possibly his handwriting was worse than it usually and already is. Still better than mine though. I lean against the desk “I'll read it out loud for both of you.” I say as I smooth the paper and hold it up. Caitlin and Farkas turn towards me attentively, I take a breath and begin to read the letter.


Dear Anna,


Hello my friend, I hope you are well. Sammie and I happened to go visit Alice Alder, Caitlin's student, today, as she's in hospital. We stopped her doctor in the hallway and she gave us the diagnosis-


Alice has Leukemia, ALL to be specific. She was moved to the neuro-oncology floor this morning and has started treatment. The cancer has spread to her central nervous system. Knowing your ordeal at the moment, I told her about you, with your tumor...have you gotten that removed yet? But when I told her your story, she smiled, I think you gave her some hope.


I hope this letter finds you two well and hopefully not drowning in piles of paperwork (like I am haha) and granted the courier gets you this sooner rather than later I would also like to say Sam and I will be in Winterhold in a few weeks if you want to meet.


Sincerely your friend,
Valan Velothi


I read through the letter enunciating words I would expect him to put emphasis on. Pausing towards the end of the letter, the point where he mentions the pile of papers I remark on the fact that we too are nearly drowning in paperwork and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. After finishing my friends letter I place it down on the desk “I had thought it might be something important, that letter.” Farkas looks at the envelope “How'd you figure that out, because it said in giant letters on the front in Bold lettering and all capitals READ ME IMPORTANT?” Caitlin laughs slightly at that.  I turn the envelope over and look, it does quite indeed say exactly that, in bold capitals too. I turn back to them “Actually because he used the fancy seal, and be pretty much never uses the fancy seal. He usually just uses tape to seal it or something.” Farkas gives me a look and crosses his arms, glances at Caitlin, then shrugs and sits down. I turn back to Caitlin, “Okay, so what's the plan? You can stay here tonight, you can stay in my old room in the hall of attainment of you want. No one uses it, come on I'll show you where it is.” I slip on some shoes and we walk down the stairs and out the main door, across the courtyard to the hall of attainment. One of the dormitories where the first years and younger students live. Professors, upperclassman, and more advanced students are housed in the hall out countenance, which is another dormitory located across the courtyard on the opposite side of the main gate that leads down to the sleepy town of winterhold. I hold the door and we walk inside, everyone else is sleeping now, it's around quarter to four, We turn and I show Caitlin my old room. A bed lies in the center of the room against the wall, a nightstand on one side and a small table and chair are in the left corner. A bookshelf and Wardrobe take up the other half of the rooms wall. “Here you go Caitlin...You sure you're okay?” She walks into the room and looks around, “Thank you. I think I'm alright, but if you happen to hear frantic banging on your door again that's likely me having another breakdown.” I nod “I'll keep the door unlocked. Goodnight.” She bids us goodnight and we tiptoe out of the dormitory into the cold night air. It started to snow a bit and the snowflakes fall around us as we cut through the yard back to the main hall. Trudging tiredly up the stairs and kicking off shoes we fall into bed. Climbing under the covers and switching off the light, by now it's four o'clock. Two hours to sleep, not much, but I'll take any sleep I can get. And on that note, goodnight...or good morning I guess.


Well this took longer than expected, and I am very tired.

Also I'm kinda having a bit of a breakdown and got (at least) temporarily kicked out of the house because my dad found some of my gay stuff and, it didn't end well. So I'm staying with Sarah (thank god) please pray for me and my anxiety has been out of control lately so bleh.

Until next time,
Max