Alone... (Everan)

FEELS WARNINGJust a warning to spare you feelings, this will be rough and tackle a variety of topics... So trigger warnings, Abuse, Language, Exile, Broken family, divorced parents, Homophobia and things as such.

Background: Everan Thenath was never "really boyish" He'd gravitate towards more stereotypically "feminine things" such as he knows how to knit, would dread whenever he was forced to play sports, kept a diary, had somewhat of a high pitched voice when very young, and would freak out whenever his cloths got ripped, scraped, or dirty. Even when he was very little he wore a skirt once or twice. His mother was fine with it, but his father...no. Eventually when Everan got older he realized that he was indeed Gay. After thinking back over his childhood and everything else he was like "ooooh that makes so much more sense. That's why I was looking at him. Huh." And a few months later came out to his parents. By that time they were divorced but he managed to get them together for enough time. Again his mother was generally more accepting, but his father set into a fit of rage, and cast Everan out of his home, and their relationship was ruined.

Story:

"No son of mine will be going around fucking boys! Your to marry that girl or get out of my sight!!" He yells. I look at him intently, "very well. I'll be going then." I say, pick up my bag and turn towards the door. My Mother sneaks away out the back door while my Father is distracted. I open the door and walk out into the night, "You bloody Faggot! You'll burn in hell I swear!" I hear a yell and a slam from behind me, I pull my hood up and ignore it, at least with the hood he won't see me cry. I follow the path from the house through the woods and onto the main cobbled stone road. I head north, not sure where to though, maybe Alinor. After walking for a few hours and figuring I'm far enough away I spot a tree and go sit down and rest. I open my notebook and pull out a pen "Dear Diary," I begin "I have just come out as Gay to Mother and Father. It didn't go very well. Mother was okay with it, as I'd already previously hinted at it. But Father, father didn't take it well at all. He kicked me out, practically chased me to the door and after I'd ran away yelled slurs after me. I tried my best to ignore it but-" I stop writing and put my face in my hands, and sigh. Then I feel wetness on my hands, and I'm crying again, no wonder he thinks I'm weak. He always did, even when I was little, I hated sports, you had to force me to play football or rugby. But I was fine with Gymnastics and Dance, and occasionally baseball, or soccer. I wipe away the tears with the back of my hand, I must look very foolish to someone if they were to pass by. I pick up my pen and continue writing "I couldn't ignore it though. I don't know if it's shame, or guilt, or something else. Or relationship had always been strained, but now the tension has snapped. I am no longer allowed there. Though it has been a long time since I've been welcome. I don't know what I'll do now, maybe go to alinor and see if I can find work there, I've heard that the mages guild is accepting applications, and they are in need of agents with certain magical skills to serve with, and at the same time against The Dominion. I think I'll try there. But I believe this road, at least for now, will be a long and tough one, as I am Alone. All Alone. I know your nothing but an inanimate object filled with nothing but random writings and doodles but if you could help me at all, if truly appreciate it. Yours truly, Everan Thenath." I then close the smooth red leather cover and put it in my bag. I then cast a simple candlelight spell as I have no torches and continue walking. The darkness surrounds me, swallows me whole, I am Alone.

A few months later...

Well, I ended up in Alinor just as planned, um well kind of planned. I came to the mages guild and they had offered me a job, I'm to be a double agent, working "with" the Thalmor. The main body of the Dominion. I have two, and a half coworkers. Now let me explain because you can have half a person!...well actually you could it's just be a bit- I'm rambling aren't I? I am. Anyways, I have two main coworkers who I've become close friends with, they also happen to be LGBTQ+ themselves, and one has a girlfriend so that's at least good, as are one of my coworkers group of friends. My fellow agents include AroAce Lanriael Cohen the Destruction Mage and "Alchemist in Alinor or The Sorceress in Summerset." Ace Homo-Romantic Carmen Smith the rouge Mage who is quite useful if you need either an archer or just need another wizard, and the half is Carmens girlfriend, Sarah Marx, the small half Bosmer half Altmer Rouge is quite useful at times, and her altmer heritage also gives her access to a few spells even though that's not her specialty. Our goal, take down the Thalmor from the inside, patrols go missing, uniforms are gone, smithys quit unexpectedly, an army goes the wrong direction, A solider gets injured by a sack falling from the stage (Lani and Carmen as well as Sarah are involved in theater and are the only members of the schools drama club, along with me of corse.)  the tax books are wrong, Couriors spread gossip instead of plans, Generals are confused...all part of the plan. So I have friends now, I have a boyfriend whose very adorable named Phillip and have a nice apartment and a good paying job as well as adventure. But there are some nights when I get home late, walk into the dark empty place, and I get that feeling again, relive that moment "burn in hell! Your no son of mine! Get out before I kill you! You bloody fag. Do you want another beating?!" I drop my bag and come to, I realize I'm panting and then scramble around every room turning every light on, checking each room, it's okay Thenath, your alone. Your All Alone. And pass out...

This was written for a friend (who shall remain unnamed) who helped create Ev's character and this would happen to them if they came out. It will be okay friend, you know who you are. You'll be okay.

Until next time,
Max