The day the world stood still... (Valan)

Okay warning, REALLY sad fic. It's Valan's account of the day of his dad's death in the form of an essay. I cried profusely writing it.


All it took was one push, one step, one jump over the edge, one heartbeat, one final breath-

And he was gone.

I barely knew him.

A locket, some pictures and memories are all I have left.

Benjamin Velothi, My Father.

Black hair, red eyes, dark skin, an expert with a sword just as skilled as my mother is with a bow, around average height, intelligent and kind, always up for jokes even when pain… And he was always in pain.

His heart did all its work with a half the normal persons, it spiked at random times, it would stop and he'd faint. But he loved us, even me, with all my mess-ups. Heh, I guess he had no choice but to, I'm his only kid. I guess you get what you get what you get and you don't get upset.

I still remember him through blurry eyes, my mother scolding him jokingly when we came home too late, or he made a joke that a three year old might find weird or strange. How he'd always come get me when I couldn't sleep and bring me into my parents room. How he’d slip food to the dog, or give money to the poor on his way to work.

I remember his last heartbeat, I remember his last breath…

He was 31.

I was 3.

I was there in the room, sitting on the bed, his eyes closed as his breathing slowed. Mom was standing next to him, she started tearing up. He opened his eyes and tells her to lean down, He whispered something in her ear. I looked at them, wondering what was going on. I climbed towards them, and placed my head on his chest, my mother went back to the stack of papers by the side table, which I later found out where funeral arrangements. Palliative care. I listened to his heartbeat, the irregular fast then slowing beat that was mildly similar to mine, felt his chest rise and fall, slowly it came and went. But what happened was the opposite of that. Benjamin Velothi came and went far too quickly, here once and gone the next, faster than you could blink, he was Gone. I was resting against him, listening still, I heard that last thump and the final rise and fall, then it stopped abruptly. I opened my eyes and say up, pushing against him, once, twice, three times, I looked at my mother eyes wide in fear, then looked back at my dad, eyes closed, rest in peace.

“Ama?”

I started to shake, the room started spinning, everything was out of focus, faster and faster, until it stopped, everything stopped at once.

“Go outside Valan.” My mother said with a voice that sounded grieved, like whence I left she'd cry. I rolled out of the bed and left the hospital room on unsteady legs, stumbling into the main hall of the cardiac intensive care unit.

“You have to help me! Please, you have to help me!!” I cried grabbing one of the nurses with my small hands. The Child Life Specialist noticed me then after she heard that. “What's wrong Valan are you alright?” She knelt down to me. “Please you have to do something,my dad...he's dead.” I burst into tears and she hugged me, I remember her name still, Jennifer Hansford. “Oh you poor boy, I'm sorry.” She let me cry, then went into the hospital room where my mother was doing the same exact thing. Everyone looked at me, teary-eyed and miserable, even some of the patients stopped and gave their regards.

 Everyone stopped, everything stopped, and the world stood still on that terrible day.

Most people don't know what it's like, to lose someone close to you. Much less a member of your immediate family. Sure some people don't know either of their parents are are raised in orphanages, but people understand that. They don't understand why people go silent when others at events ask “oh where's you mom/dad/guardian?” Or why others say “no, they won't know.” When someone says “oh____ will be so proud of you!” Most people don't know what it's like to lose someone when your only starting to develop long term memory.

Instead of burying him, we chose a tradition custom, cremation. My mom has a friend in balmora who's a sculptor and they made a beautiful urn for the ashes, and another person at the hospitals wife is a metal worker and she made both of us lockets in the shape of hearts, one side has a picture of our whole family, and the other side is divided into three parts, 1 part has him and whoevers locket it is, like for mind it's me and my dad. And part 2 is a picture of the person with their name, like my mothers says “Sarah Velothi.” Inscribed in it. And the 3rd part is a picture of my dad. And the side with three parts is special, it's the back half of the locket, and in the space between the pictures and the outer part of the locket is a few of my dad's ashes. One night when I was already asleep, a few weeks before we left because we couldn't afford our house, my mom snuck out and went to the end of the street where there is a pier that juts out into the ocean, this was my dad's favorite spot, very calm and quiet, but powerful during a storm, you can watch the waves crash against the beach below. So what my mom did was she opened the urn, took out a handful of ashes and sprinkled them into the ocean and along the edge of the pier. Closed it, and went home.

Make sure you spend time with those you love, because all it takes is one step, one push off the edge, one jump, one second, one blink, one heartbeat, one comment, one more day, one more breath,

And they could be gone.

I know-

I was there the day the world stood still.

-Valan Velothi

Best read when listened to,