You wouldnt understand (Sarah)

Sarah has a traumatic nightmare and Phillips a good friend.

Non-Con/Rape warning once again because character torture that I told you was coming and more of an insight into Sarah's backstory on why she ended up in Summerset Isles.


Carmen, Lani and I walk through Alinor. By now it's getting dark out, it's a week until winter break, and Christmas and Hanukkah. We pass by one of the old temples on the east side, an older man in a black coat and hat, with curls coming out on either side waves “Shalom.” He says, we wave and smile back “ Shabbat Shalom!” We say in passing. I look at the building as we walk by, it's made of stone, with tall spires and a stained glass window of the Star of David in the middle. It was made to look like a church to fit in better. I stare at the window, not knowing my friends have kept walking until Carmen yells “Sarah!!! Come on let's go!” I blink and shake my head running to catch up, skidding to a stop when I eventually do. We walk by Everans apartment building, he lives on the fourth floor, and we can see the light coming from his kitchen window, as well as Phillips silhouette. It's cold out now that the Sun's gone down, replaced by Massar and Secunda, the moons, and all of the stars twinkling brightly. It might be dark out, but it's not a sad kind of dark, that doesn't come until later, when everything's quiet, everything but my thoughts. Carmen and I get back to our house and say goodnight to Lani, who still has a few blocks to go, she'll be fine though. Carmen struggles with finding her keys inside her coat pocket until she gets the right one and puts it in the gold painted door, with the gold doorknob. We step into the doorway and wipe our shoes on the mat before kicking them off and shrugging off coats and scarves. Maddie, Cam’s older sister, comes down the stairs “hey gays. How was where ever you went?” We laugh and tell her the events of the day over dinner. Mr and Mrs Smith are out of town for the weekend so it's just the three of us, and our group of friends most of the time. After dinner and milling around doing nothing in particular for a couple of hours we decide to go to bed. Climbing under the covers and quickly falling asleep.


But that doesn't last long for me.


You see, I'm a bit messed up when it comes to my childhood. I'm not from Alinor, or even from Summerset. I'm from a small town in the middle of Valenwood, I grew up on the poverty line, most of the people there lived, and still live, in poverty. And then you get to my family. I'm the youngest of three, I have an older sister, Hazel, and an older brother, Eridan. They aren't exactly- how to put this...the kindest siblings in the world. And then you have my parents which are just abusive, and the entire town just hated my guts. After I came out my parents threw me out, disowned me and I had to walk through the entire town while people threw stones at me. But not until my mom and Hazel brought me to the church in attempt to “fix me”.


That night I have a nightmare reliving the entire experience, the entire horrible experience. I wake up screaming. Carmen stirs and bolts up to see me shaking and crying. She puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly “what's wrong?” She asks me. I swallow, “uhh, I just had a really bad nightmare. You go back to sleep. I'm gonna go get some fresh air, I'll be back.” Carmen nods and let's go. I get out of bed and change into a pair of pants and a long sleeve shirt. Putting on some socks and my boots, then walking out into the upstairs hallway, Maddie opens her door and looks at me “everything alright? I heard screaming.” I shrug “nightmare, I'm just going to get some fresh air.” Maddie looks at me for a moment “If you ever wanna talk, you know where to find me, okay?” I nod and Maddie smiles going back into her room.


I grab my keys and step out into the cold night air, I know where to go. I start walking south to east 82 street, where Everan’s appartment building is. I don't give a fuck whether or not Phillips there, he should probably hear this too. I get to the building and walk up the four flights of stairs, waiting a moment before knocking. Should I do this? I mean what if he doesn't get it? His situation with his parents was a bit different, oh well, I'm here so might as well.


I rap my knuckles on the door, knocking loudly. Everan opens the door and looks at me “What's up?” He asks, “I need to talk to you about something, it's kinda important.” He nods “Come in.” And opens the door so I can enter. We sit around the kitchen table, Phillip is there too, his black and navy blue hair tousled and messy. “What do you need to talk to me about?” Everan asks, passing me a cup of hot chocolate. “You were kicked out when you came out right?” I ask taking a sip. He nods “yeah, my dad got pissed at me. Why do you bring it up?” I sigh “I was kicked out too. But you already knew that. But you don't know the entire story. And why I'm here is I had a nightmare reliving the entire experience, and I needed to talk to someone who would understand. Because Cam and Maddie, they don't understand...or they do, just not in the same way.” Phillip interjects “so I'm guessing I wouldn't understand either?” He says with a smirk, as what he's stating is rather obvious, no he wouldn't. “So anyways, here's what happened…


I still remember the day clearly. It was November 23, I finally managed the will to tell me family. They didn't have the best reaction. My dad was furious and my mom was horrified. My siblings just snickered and made remarks. My dad, though I knew he could get physical, that day was something else.” I pause and point to a scar on my arm “see this? That's not a battle scar. Most of my scars actually aren't from fighting.” Phillip looks at me with a sad look on his face, Everans is more one of sympathy. I continue explaining.
“He hit me, and punched and kicked and then it stopped. He muttered something and my siblings seized me and followed my mother, dragging me to the local church.whence inside my mother told the pastor to “fix me and make me repent for my sins” and handed me over to him. You don't want to know what happened after that…” Everan takes my hand “Sarah, what happened then? I think we need to know friend.” I sniffle and my voice breaks, I mumble a response. “What was that?” They ask. “He Raped me!” I yell as I break down in tears. Ev and Phillip look at each other and back to me. Phillip gets out of his chair and runs and gets a blanket and a box of tissues, wrapping the blanket around me and giving me tight hug. Everan looks at me horrified “what's that priests name because I swear I will kill him.” I shrug “I dunno the name but I'll tell you the town name, it's Archansted, in middle-southern Valenwood. The church of Yffree, an bosmer God. And there's still more to the story” Ev nods and writes it down then sits back down and listens to me continue,


“After that was done I ran away and hid in the old temple on the outskirts of town, not before the towns people started chasing me and throwing stones at me. I managed to outrun them and get to the temple, where I was friends with the rabbi. He helped me baracade the door and gave me a bag with some clothes, medical supplies, and food. Them gave a small thing of coins and showed me the secret exit that lead onto the round north east. Towards the sea. He told me to run, and not stop running until I got far far away, and never come back, my life depended on it. And so I ran, and I ran, and I ran until I got to the sea. And I took a ship and ended up here. Well there you have it, that's my sob story.” I sit back in my chair and take another tissue. “I now get why you said I wouldn't understand. But really dear gods that's horrible! Especially that your own family would do such a thing, makes me sick.” Phillip says solemnly. I nod in agreement. “You feel any better having talked about it?” Everan asks me. “Yeah I guess so.” I pull the blanket tighter around me and look at the snow falling steadily outside. “Honestly though, in my opinion, that's even worse than what happened to me. Because with me, after my sister died, my dad got pretty screwed up, I think because he didn't really like me much in the first place and then he needed someone to blame for his grief so he took it out on my mom and me. But your family just seem cruel and narcissistic.” Phillip laughs slightly “and then you have my family. Not really many problems except for my mums side, we don't see them very often though.” We smirk at that “that's because your parents and around half of Rebecca's side are lgbtq+. Lillian's less so. And your immediate family, there's three gays and a small child.” Phillip shrugs “and that is why I can have sympathy but can not directly relate to what you have experienced but still, you're awesome. And those terrible things do not have anything to do with your personality, just a bunch of terrible people being assholes.” Ev and I laugh “Thanks Phillip.” He smiles “Anytime friend. You should probably go home, and should too.” Ev looks at him “Sure ya don't wanna stay?” Phillip puts on his coat and scarf “As much as I really would like to I can't.” Ev looks at him “Why?” He grabs his keys and puts them in his pocket “I have a sick little sister and Finals week!” Phillip holds the door for me as we step into the hall and walk down the stairs. Whence outside I look at Phillip “Why is Ainsley always sick anyways?” He shrugs “I dunno really. I'd get sick a lot when I was a little kid too. Maybe something genetic or I don't know. Maybe because it's winter and she's three?” I blink snow out of my eyes “Also Phillip…” We stop “hmm?” I point towards the direction he should be going in “shouldn't you be going that way?” He makes a face “Yes. Well goodnight Sarah!” He says and walks off towards his own home. Oh Phillip, you wouldn't understand how much you make someone's day so much happier. Even when their life's very hard you manage to make them happy again. You wouldn't understand. You just wouldn't.