The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (Alarian)

This takes place before the recent storyline,

“How are you, Warden?” Sten asks as he sets down a plate. I look up from the book I'm reading “what?”, he repeats his question “How are you?”. Sten points to the bruises on my arms, oh, right...forgot about that. “I'm okay.” I say putting a place mark in the book at tossing it off to the side, “And yourself?”, Sten thinks for a moment “I am troubled.” He says seriously. Now I'm intrigued, I wouldn't expect a response such as that from a person like Sten. “What about?” I sit up and move to the edge of the seat. “Why my kin would do such things. Camps I mean.” I nod “I can't answer your question Sten, except that there are three types of people in this world, The Good, The Bad, and in the Darkspawns case, The Ugly.” I take my things and exit the room.

I think on Sten's question that night, laying alone in the dark. Why did they want me of all things? I'm just some stupid kid, I'm a nobody when you take away the grey warden status. So what I'm a Mage, so what I'm a messenger, all of that aside I'm nothing more than an antisocial person with a messed up brain. I get out of bed and silently pad down the stairs and into the kitchen. I open the medicine cabinet and look at my list of prescriptions, Sertraline, Guanfacine, Amitriptyline and others. I rifle through them until a light comes on and I hear footsteps. “What're you doin ‘larian?” I bedheaded Zevran asks me. I turn around and put the pill bottle back on the shelf “Nothinggg.” I press myself up against the counter, trying not to look guilty. He looks at me with an eyebrow raised, not amused. “What were you doing? It's alright, you can tell me.” Well if I tell him I'm probably dead and if he didn't catch me if definitely be dead, that was the point. I close my eyes and take a breath “Certainly not trying to commit suicide…” I attempt to say sarcastically. It didn't work as Zevs eyes widen and he stares at me. He takes me by the arm “come with me-” he says urgently and leads me up the stairs “where we goin?” I ask as we walk up into the attic “somewhere where we can talk privately.” He opens a trapdoor that leads onto the roof. Ohhhhh...

We get to the roof and he sits me down and sits next to me, our legs hanging off the side. We sit in silence overlooking the countryside and can see some of the lights in the city of Denerim, located farther away. “Why'd you try to kill yourself?” He asks not making eye contact. I look down at my feet “I just wanted everything to be over, all the pain, all the misery, I just wanted to be done…” I think of a song then, and think of the lyrics in my head.

Someone save if you will and take away all these pills. And please just save me if you can, from my blasphemy, in my wasteland. How did I get here? And what went wrong? Couldn't handle forgiveness, now I'm far beyond gone… Someone save me if you will and take away all these pills. And please just save me if you can, from my blasphemy, in my wasteland.

I didn't think anyone would miss me, that they'd try and stop it. By now I was so used to people discarding me, throwing me out of their lives as if I were nothing more than a stone tossed into a pond, destined to sink to the bottom. “I tried to kill myself once.” Zevran says with a sigh. I look up at him with an eyebrow raised “You did?” He nods “Shortly after one of my friends I had grown up with was killed during the training I became very depressed. I couldn't imagine life without them. So I tried to take my own life. Luckily one of the masters saw me about to plunge the knife in my heart and knocked it out of my hand. Next thing I knew I was on suicide watch. But that was a long time ago. As you can see I have not attempted suicide since, except for maybe trying to assassinate you that is.” He gives a sly smile “What you did do was you were cornered and about to be killed when you started flattering us that's what you did.” He laughs “It worked though didn't it?” I roll my eyes, he can be impossible sometimes. Maybe people would miss me after all, at least a portion of them. In my view there's three broad groups of society and smaller faction groups within them. First you have the Good, those who are morally aligned, who are not corrupt or evil, those who would not willingly hurt an innocent person who has done nothing wrong. For example Wynne, or Alister to some extent. Those are morally good, and while they have killed, they are not sneaky, malicious, or shadowy. Though you can have people with such qualities and still be good people. Then you have The Bad. Corrupt, evil, Malicious, sadistic, narcissistic are a few qualities for example. Murderers, Corrupt officials, Fascists, and certain groups of assassins are examples of people one would find in groups such as this. Though like the good, and the ugly, this is a spectrum, one may have qualities from this group but still be a good person, what matters is amount of these qualities. And lastly there is the ugly. Petty criminals, beggars, and those of that sort would be categorized under here. Huh, I guess I would be missed, not only by a few people, but rather society on the whole, because if I'm gone who would unite the factions to a common cause like only a warden can? At that thought Duncan's words ring in my head “No matter what, stay alive. Only a warden can keep society in check at a time like this. Do not fail me Warden.” I repeat the words to myself and unknowingly nod. I then recite the wardens promise to myself…

In war, Victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice. That is the seal of the warden, and then the promise is below it.

Unite the good, eradicate the bad, persuade the ugly.

Though I'd like for it to be over, I repeat Duncan's words. And that gives me hope…