Unforgotten (Phillip)

We walk into the restaurant and the hostess seats us, because it's a rather large group we have a separate table down a set of stairs, in a semi private room. Looking over the menu I eventually find something appetizing and look at my friends, most of whom are still deciding. Everan looks up and me and flashes a smile, I grin back and he looks down again. The waiter comes down the small staircase and asks for our order then quickly scrawls its down and rushes up the stairs. And so we begin to chat amongst ourselves.

“Did you hear Caitlin Netherfield committed suicide?” Carmen asks to no one in particular. A tightening feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. “I stayed up crying the entire night I found out.” Sarah replies and Carmen shoots her a look “I know.” She says. “We sleep in the same house, remember?” Lani sighs “I just didn't realize she was that depressed. And if anything I feel bad for Alex, poor girl was up there when Caitlin jumped.”

Air. I need air.

“Excuse me.” I say placing my napkin on the table and rushing upstairs and out the door, sitting on a bench just to the right of it. I cover my eyes and try to calm myself, but I can't. The memories flash by one by one. Don't cry, don't cry. Don't. Cry.

The door opens again and someone sits next to me. “What's wrong Phillip?” I look up, it Everan. I wipe my eyes. “Wrong? Nothing's wrong!” I say sarcastically. “I just, that conversation brought back some rather unwanted and, unsettling, memories.” Ev looks at me, “What kind of memories?” He asks cautiously, as if he knows he's going into sensitive territory. I take a breath “IhadafriendcommitsuicidewhenIwasateenager.” I say rapidly. Everan blinks “I have no idea what you just said, slow down. Try and speak normally.” Right, normally. “I. Had. A. Friend. Commit. Suicide. When. I. Was. A. Teenager.” I say slowly enunciating each word. Ev's expression changes now, to one of sadness, of understanding. “What was their name?” He moves closer to me. “His name was Jay.” I reply. “We were 16.” I look at my shoes and try to kick some of the dirt off of them. “Phillip?” I look up. “Can I hug you?” I don't respond, at least with words.

I just hug him first.

Now the end of the emotional regulation rope snaps, and tears start pouring out. Everan wraps an arm around me and let's me cry, which is an opportunity I gladly welcome. Eventually I pull back and look at him. His shirt and jacket are both stained. “Sorry about that. I-I didn't-” I stutter looking for the right words, my mind is foggy now. “It's alright.” Ev reassures me. “It's just water.” I stare at him “Thank you.” He gives me that same smile from earlier, a genuine one, like he enjoys my presence. He stands up and adjusts his jacket then offers his hand and pulls me up. “You think you want to go back inside? I can go warn them that it's a bit of a sensitive topic.” I nod and let him lead me inside. Everan goes downstairs and briefs our friend then comes back up and gestures for me to come with him. The two of us sit back down at the table and Lanriael pushes us the bread basket “these two have been hogging it while you were gone. So I as the sensible friend confiscated it, hereby it now belongs to you.” I take a roll and bite into it, somehow it's still slightly warm. And it seems we arrived back just in time, as the waiter comes back with a tray of food. Looking at it I realize just how hungry I am, I guess a brief emotional breakdown does that to you?

*On a personal note I did actually have a friend named Jay. In fact I had a total of three friends named Jay which is now a total of two named Jay. 

Until next time,

Max