Brother (Vilkas)

Summery: Vilkas likes to wander around, though he doesn't always realize it. He wanders into an old watch tower and thinks for a bit about a variety of things. His childhood, his mental status, and his relationship with his brother. This fic is a bit all over the place partly because I've written it mostly at odd hours of the night.


It gets lonely sometimes, being alone all the time. It's not like I want to be alone, it just happens. I'd go outside more if it weren't for the sun being so bright, or the wind being too much, or the people downtown being so loud and having no respect for personal space. And so I sit alone in my room which brings me to the place I am now. I lay with my eyes closed, not quite sleeping and yet not completely awake. My brother comes in and taps me on the shoulder “Time to wake up.” I open my eyes and sit up surprising him that I'd done so rather quickly. “You weren't actually asleep were you?” Farkas asks and I shake my head. “Of course you weren't.” He checks his watch “I have to get going, doctor's appointment.” I look at my alarm, it's a few minutes before ten. I climb out of bed and go over to my dresser, rifling through the drawers searching for a tee shirt and a pair of pants. “Vilkas?” I look up. “Make sure you remember to take your medicine and eat something, alright?” I nod slowly, making a mental note. Sometimes I forget to eat as I don't realize how time has gone by, and I'm simply not hungry. “Okay, I'll get dressed and do that. Then I'll see what Aelas up to.” I say taking my clothes in one hand and checking the drawers closed. Farkas smiles slightly and turns to leave. “I'll see you later then.” He says, grabs his bag and exits, closing the door most of the way and running up the stairs to the main floor. I close the door and get dressed quickly, discovering a small note on my desk. I open it. Inside is a drawing and a small note describing which medications I need to take and at what times. It's from Anna. I put the note back on the desk and turn off the light, now I just have to find Aela.

Eventually I find Aela outside sitting on top of the rock where the blacksmith is, Eorlund Grey-Mane and chatting with him. I climb the steps and sit down next to her, bidding a polite hello to Eorlund. “So how's it going?” I ask after a brief moment of silence. “Good. How about you? No antics planned out for today?” Aela and I normally work together when assigned missions, all circle members tend to work in pairs. Skjor and Kodlak from their days in the war, Anna and Farkas because well, it's Anna and Farkas what else would you expect from them. I'd get into why specifically it works better for those  two than my brother and I on our own but that would take too long, maybe another day if you ask. Then Aela and I are the last pair, and we tend to get extermination or tracking fugitives for jobs. I try to think if we have anything assigned at the moment, nothing I remember at least. “Nah. What about you?” She taps her foot against the Rock and shrugs “Might see if Bree is around or somethin’.” Bree is one of her girlfriends, and lives a few streets away. Aela continues to talk but I don't hear what she says, I've zoned out, gone into a little world of my own. I get up and begin to walk away, not sure exactly where I'm going, but do I ever know that?

Next thing I remember I'm sitting alone in one of the watchtowers by the main gate. How'd I get here? I mean I must have walked, but why in the world would I wander to a place like this? At least it's quiet. I look out on the street and see the people walking through the districts going about their business. I yawn, didn't sleep very well...per usual. I sit down in the corner of the watchtower and look out one of the barred “windows” onto the plains of the hold and the mountains in the distance. I wonder where Farkas and Anna went, they should be back by now. Maybe they got side tracked. Clouds roll over the city slowly and it begins to rain, great. I pick up a rock and toss it up in the air and catch it, an excerpt of a song I know comes into my head then,

Does anyone have the time to bring me down? And can I sleep all night long, to the drums of the city rain? Just make it up, to the drums of the city rain. And brother if you have the chance to pick me up, then can I sleep on your couch? To the pound of the ache and pain, oh in my head. ‘Cause I'm awake all night long, to the drums of the city rain.

The lights we chase, the nights we steal, the things that we take, to make us feel this. I can't go back. I don't think I will. Because I won't sleep tonight as long as hear the drums of the city rain.

I relate to that song for a few reasons, First off I tend to be ignored by others, dismissed as simply “He does his own thing. He's antisocial.” If people included me to the extent I'm comfortable around them  I'd like to be social, I just don't really know how. The first line also makes sense in another sense, I've got bipolar depression, causing me to experience “highs” where I feel happy and almost normal and then “lows” where I'm moderately to severely depressed, excessively tired, and my self esteem takes even more of a hit. As for making things up, both Farkas and I were known for having rather intriguing imaginations as children, always making up games, or stories, things like that. If I randomly showed up in the middle of the night to my brothers doorstep it's nearly a given he'd let me in. If I were in pain when that happened, he'd take care of me as well, if our roles were switched I'd do the same, we’re twins, it's what we do. As for being awake all night long, part of that relates to insomnia and the other is again, a long story. I look out the window once more, gods I hate the rain. As for chasing lights as you already know, I wander off randomly, hence the fact I need to be with someone on jobs, or if I leave the city. When I was a child I wandered halfway across the country and ended up getting kidnapped, Farkas then left to find me and the same thing happened to him to, if it weren't for one of the older companions at the time I don't know what would have happened. Both of us are on medication that regulate emotions such as anxiety and depression, making us feel happier emotions. I peek out of the watchtower as the gate opens, climbing onto a box and pulling myself up, looking over the wall. It's Anna, she looks up at me and grins. “What are you doing up there?” She asks. Farkas opens the gate next and stares up at me and laughs. I laugh slightly and hop down off the box and walk out so I'm standing next to them. I notice neither of them are wet, which doesn't make any sense as it's pouring rain outside. “How-” Anna holds up her hands, both of which are charged with a spell. I nod and look away, down the street towards the center. “Right.” The three of us walk back and find Aela and Bree inside playing cards with Ria. They call us over and we sit down next to them. “Where'd you go?” Ria asks handing me a stack of cards. “Sitting over in one of the watchtowers doing absolutely nothing in particular.” I reply looking through my cards. I turn to Farkas “And what took you two so long?” Anna makes a face and looks away. Farkas looks at me, not saying anything but giving me an “I'll tell you later” kind of look, I nod. Bree leans over to Aela and I can over hear her whisper “What're they doing?” Aela pats her arm “Nonverbal communication. It's a sibling thing.” She explains. Though many people think of having a brother as a nuisance I actually like it, though I may be biased as mine is nearly an exact copy of my dna. Besides, he is my only living biological family member. In that case, brothers aren't so bad.