Flash Fiction February Day 20 Dreams (Vilkas)

 Day 20 Dream:

Some nights I dream, other nights I have nightmares, most of the time sleep is a blank, dreamless existence, and some nights I simply don’t sleep at all, though the reasoning varies as to why. Unlike my brother I retained the ability to sleep at least somewhat undisturbed on my own, without anything, or, in his case, anyone, to keep the nightmares at bay. That is a fact I’m very glad about, as I’m not very fond of affection, or human contact really, yet I do feel bad for him at times…at least he is really very good at keeping himself entertained during the long hours when no one else is awake. Tonight, I lay in bed, not quite tired enough to sleep yet, but getting there, and so I lay there and think. Aela is already asleep, as when I passed by I saw her and Ria curled up together fast asleep. I guess in the absence of Anna, who is Aelas other go to queer cuddle companion and somewhat friend with benefits of choice, Ria is the backup…probably a better fit, anyways, as Anna, like my brother and myself, is asexual, where Ria is bi with a preference toward women and Aela is perhaps the most stereotypical lesbian I have ever met. Speaking of Anna, she and Farkas are also absent, they’re in Windhelm- I hope they’re staying warm enough. Due to a traumatic incident as a child my opinion of mages may be slightly tainted, yet I would, and do, trust Anna with my life, and in Windhelm having a mage who predominantly uses fire is an excellent ally against the cold, snowy, and all around awful weather. Nadja, Athis, and Tovar I don’t talk to much, especially Tovar…even when he is not in a drunken stupor. Yes, I believe I am the only one awake aside from perhaps Kodlak and Skjor, but if I had to bet I would guess even they are asleep by now, and that leaves me alone. Having gone through the tally in my head of who is likely to be awake and finished with the total of zero I debate the idea of sleep, I don’t physiologically need it, but it does have its upside. Rolling over in the attempt to find a comfortable position I attempt to sleep with the hope it will be either positive or dreamless. Unfortunately, it does not seem that way. Sleep is difficult, a mix of memories I would rather not have and concocted ideas by my dysfunctioning neural circuitry, after what I learn was only a few hours with it now being just before sunrise I open my eyes and sit up, I’m alone in the dim room as I turn on a light and rub my eyes a bit, but I’m always alone.

…I don’t like being alone.