Nightmare (Anna)

 I don’t sleep well some nights, though the reasons why vary significantly. It seems that tonight, despite my severe need for a good night's sleep, would be one of those nights. Other nights I sleep peacefully, calm and quiet, really quite content to dream until the sun rises, and even after still. On nights like this however I toss and turn unable to sleep with any sort of peace.

I had gone to bed fairly early, in fact, due to my fatigue, as it had been a busy day. At first I fell asleep quite content, that is, until things began to take a turn for the worse. Quickly my dreams turned to flashbacks, or with elements of them mixed with whatever other manner of nightmare fuel the mind can come up with. I toss and turn keeping my eyes closed tight, clutching at the pillow like my very life depends on it, and trying desperately to think of anything else…the attempts prove futile as the terror peaks and I bolt upright with a scream, and after a minute, tears begin to stream down my face as I sit huddled alone in the dark.

There’s a familiar sound of footsteps up the stairs, likely having heard the scream, and someone begins to open the door, still terrified I let out another small scared scream when the door opens and a head pokes in before turning on a light. “Anna?” It’s Farkas, of course it is, why would it be anyone, or anything, else? Silly nerves got the best of me. “I heard you scream, you ok? You don’t seem it…” I shake my head, tears streaming down my face “Nightmare.” I say through tears. Farkas closes the door and comes and sits next to me “Must have been a real scary one then to make you like this, hmm?” I nod attempting to wipe away some of the tears on my cheeks. “Want something to drink? Will that help you calm down you think?” It usually does, so I agree. Farkas begins to get up and head toward the door but pauses mid step toward the door at my scared whimper, before coming back, picking me up, and placing me over on the window seat closer to the door “I’m just going to go into the hall don’t worry you can see me the entire time.” And he’s not incorrect, opening the door and taking a step out to the upstairs landing, calling down to the housecarl, Argis, to ask if he could bring up a cup of warm milk, minutes later he does such a thing. Paranoid though, I still look over my shoulder out the window every now and then and the reignited fear doesn’t help. “Are you alright, my thane? We heard a scream, interrupting our late night chess game.” The housecarl asks. “Take a guess, apologies for interrupting your game.” I respond sarcastically.

Having finished the cup of milk I do calm down a slight bit but am still shaken and wide awake. “So, you wanna tell me about your nightmare?” Farkas asks, sitting down next to me as I finish the cup of milk. “Monster. Scary monster.” That’s all I say. Argis accidentally turns out one of the lights that makes me practically jump. “So sorry, my Thane, I didn’t mean to startle you.” he apologizes but that doesn’t solve my now shaking with fear “Anna…are you afraid of the dark?” Farkas questions “I thought you would have figured that out by now.” I murmur to myself. “Yes, it’s scary and I don’t like it and I never have.” I explain as a new set of tears begin to fall. Farkas gestures for Argis to turn the light back on “Well lucky for you it’s nice and bright in here. No monsters here, ok? You’re safe, it was just a dream.” I hug him tightly and am returned with a hug in return and a hand carding through my hair reassuringly. “Can you tell me a story?” I ask, face still buried against his chest hugging him tightly. “For you? Of course...or actually I have a better idea, do you want me to read you a story?” I nod at the suggestion and carefully am pried away as he gets up and goes over to the bookshelf, pulling out a small selection of books and bringing them over to the spot by the window for me to pick one. After some deliberation, I do, and he sits back down pulling me into his lap and moving so his legs rest stretched out on the padded window sill before beginning to read.

The book does provide a temporary sense of calm and engagement, but not enough to make me tired again in the slightest. “It’s going to be a long night.” I remark “Well thankfully for us, we have a lot of books and other ways to pass the time.” Argis sits in a chair by the door half asleep, enough to be mostly unaware, or at least non reactive to our conversation, but awake enough that he is not fully asleep. By the end of the first book I’ve mostly stopped shaking, just still a bit jittery and flinching every now and then at a new sound or quick movement. My tears have stopped for the most part, but the occasional one still falls. Every now and then I glance out the window, sometimes spooking myself by accident and immediately turning away, and sometimes just to watch the lights of the buildings outside.

By the time we dismiss Argis to allow him to get some sleep on something more comfortable than a chair, it’s around one in the morning, still hours until daylight. “I’m bored.” I remark letting out a sigh. “But...I’m still not tired again.” I add, feeling that question would be asked. Farkas looks around the room “Have more books if you want, unless you want to play cards or something.” A game of cards doesn’t sound too bad. “What kind of cards?” I get a shrug and a “whatever you want” in reply. I climb out of my spot and go pick up the deck before sitting on the bed. “How about go fish?” It’s an easy enough game that can be modified as needed. After getting a tiny bit bored we do indeed decide to modify it. “Whoever loses first has to take off a piece of clothing, down to pants and/or underclothes, similar to our other occasional card games?” We agree. “Got any fives?” Go fish. “How about sevens?” Go fish. “Do you have any fours?” Go. Fish. By the end of close to five games I end up without my socks, top, or pants, but succeeded in winning at least a few rounds, resulting in a certain werewolf now devoid also of socks and a shirt. I almost never win card games, and so I’ll take what I can get.

“I am almost certain you cheated.” Farkas rolls his eyes “You’re just mad I’m better at cards than you are.” It’s true, I might be, just a little. I cross my arms and sit back with a slightly annoyed huff “I can still beat you in chess.” I remark, looking away. “And checkers. And fox and geese!” Having cleaned up and put the cards back in the drawer Farkas sits back down, picks me up, and sits me in his lap “Yes you can…but I’m still better at cards than you.” He grins and pats my shoulder lightly, I may be better at chess, he may be better at cards, Vilkas is perhaps the king of Stratego, and Aela beats all our asses at monopoly. Really, she does Every. Single. Time. It is, if I must be honest, ridiculous. “Sleepy yet?” I’m asked, being drawn out of my thoughts, and shake my head. “Are you at least going to get dressed again?” Another shake of the head, the temperature in Markarth can change rather rapidly, and a warm front seems to be moving in, so if anything, I’m rather warm.

“Why is everything in Markarth made of stone and gilding?” I ask, looking out the window. “The dwarves liked it I guess.” That’s…a valid answer, I suppose. “I’m tired.” And it’s true, my eyes feel heavy, but I do not feel sleepy as much as I simply feel tired. Squirming my way closer I lay against the comforting warmth and in reply an arm wraps around me. Still I continue to look out the window, it’s slowly getting lighter outside, but it is still very very early in the morning. Looking outside I try to keep my eyes from closing, but eventually I fail, and curling up among the sheets, fall asleep after a very long night.

However, I wake up again just as the sun begins to peak its way through the cracks and crevices of the mountains with another jolt, which in turn immediately wakes Farkas, as I’d hit him by accident while flailing around. If it hadn’t been for the fact of Farkas pulling me into his lap and wiping at my cheek I wouldn’t have realized I’d started to cry again, but I can’t make it stop now. It was only a dream, no reason to be upset, and therefore no reason to cry. Regardless, the familiar voice whispering “shh shh shh” and “It’s okay, it was only a dream. I’ve got you.” is reassuring while gently rocking back and forth. With a shaky breath I wipe my tears as best I can, and still feel a bit silly about the whole feat in itself, and, after pausing for a moment, turn myself slightly and give him perhaps the most forceful hug I can muster on three hours of sleep, and find myself crying again.

Having cried all I can I wind up tiring myself out and eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion. It is a dreamless sleep, which at this point, I’ll take. By the time I eventually wake its early afternoon and I find myself sprawled over Farkas with my head against his shoulder while he lays there seemingly unaware of my now awake state attempting to read while simultaneously not wake me. “Was wondering when you’d wake up. You can go back to sleep if you’re still tired.” Oh that sounds like a wonderful idea, but so does food. Instead I mumble an “I’m hungry” mostly to myself. “But I'm still tired.” I add to myself with a yawn. “Want something to eat?” I’m asked but shake my head putting it back to where it was before I’d looked up. “Tired.” I mumble, and in return get a kiss against my head, a hand gently making its way through my hair and a repeat that I can go back to sleep if I want to. The touch is calming and with drooping eyelids still heavy with sleep I close them again, just to take a short rest until the hunger actually wakes me up. It was a shorter rest than expected, only about a half an hour, but that’s alright.

 Attempting to sit up and rub at my eyes to get rid of the remainder of sleepiness I murmur to myself about my current state of hunger. “Time to have something to eat?” I’m asked as Farkas puts his book down on the side table and smiles softly when I make a noise of agreement. “Good, it’s getting a bit late for brunch after all.” He points out, which is true, it’s a bit before one o’clock now. Climbing out of bed I stretch a little in order to keep my muscles from tightening up and glance out the window, lucky for us it’s a rather disgusting day out, quite stormy it would seem, a good day to stay inside and read. Opening the door and heading down the stairs I find Farkas quietly trailing after, as always, and Argis in his usual spot when I get to the bottom of the staircase. “Feeling better, my thane?” He asks, not looking up from what he is doing. “Yes, thank you for asking.” I reply politely before going to look in the pantry for available options. There isn’t much, but toast is always an option.

Magic comes in very handy when attempting to make a perfect piece of toast, though there is the definite possibility of burning it if you don’t do it correctly. Luckily I’m awake enough that it ends up more of a golden brown than burnt to a crisp. “Since when does it rain in Markarth?” I ask in between bites of buttered toast and coffee. “How long has water been wet?” Farkas asks in reply. Ha ha ha, very funny…not. “It rains every now than then, but not as much as other places. Skyrim doesn’t get much rain anyways, more snow as you have almost certainly seen.” See? That is the kind of explanation I was going for. Now I’m wondering about the ecological diversity in this country…the only place I’ve seen consistent rainfall has been around Morthal which we avoid as much as we possibly can. As I munch away on my very late breakfast Farkas sits quietly having a cup of tea and talking to me, he must have eaten earlier while I was still asleep. As we sit and chat there’s a clap of thunder and a lightning strike not very far from the city. “Today’s a good day to stay inside.” I say hurriedly and matter of factly, looking out the window as it happens before looking down at my plate, Farkas makes a noise of agreement “We’ve got ways to keep entertained.” He says with a barely noticeable smirk. We do indeed have ways of keeping ourselves entertained, like naps, and card games, and chess, and lots and lots of books, and telling each other stupid stories from when we were kids, and shittalking people like Haelga, and more naps! Ah the list could go on and on and on, but, I digress.

Having finished my piece of toast I announce that I am full while pushing the plate away and laying my head on my arms which are now laying on the table. My grandmother would probably be throwing a fit right about now about elbows on the table, but then again, that is by no means the utmost sin I’ve committed in her eyes. “A single piece of toast and a cup of coffee?” I’m asked with a look that's somewhere in between disappointed and concerned. “I’m full.” I pout, and it’s true, I am. However I am eventually coerced into eating half an apple sliced into pieces for the sake of nutrition and would like to go on record to say I did not want to do so but did it anyway. At least I like apples. Rainy days are good days to do the dishes, and having finished eating I do them quickly to get them out of the way so they do not pile up and make a mess, when that happens it makes a task I already don’t like doing even worse. Having finished most if not all the chores that needed to be done I retreat back upstairs and crawl under the covers. Eventually I’m found by a certain werewolf who joins me, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Want to build a pillow fort?” I ask, popping up out of my pile of blankets. Farkas thinks for a moment, tapping one foot on the stone floor and looking around. “It’s tempting, but then you wouldn’t have any blankets to curl up in.” That’s a fair point, scratch that idea. “Hmmm…then can you tell me a story?” That one he agrees to and moves to sit in a chair over by the bookcase, gesturing for me to come over, which I do- with blanket in tow and find my way until I’m eventually sitting in his lap in a position that works for both of us. “What kind of story do you want?” I’m asked and I think for a moment. “A scary story.” I say and get a noise in reply as he sits up straighter and lightly bonks me on the head with a rolled up newspaper “Mmhhh, no, you can have nightmares all you want and I will be there to lull you back to sleep but I won’t be the source of them.” With a sigh I pout, Damn you nightmares…sometimes you just want to hear a good story.