Homesick (Farkas)

Since today marks the nine year anniversary of Skyrim’s release, to celebrate, have some slightly rushed (at the end mainly) cute if slightly sad at times fluff. Happy ninth birthday Skyrim!

“You notice anything odd about Anna recently?” Valan asks sitting back in his chair and crossing one leg over the other. “How do you mean ‘odd’?” I ask, though I have my thoughts of what he implies. “I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. Behavior wise, I guess. A bit sort of...sad. Withdrawn, distracted, you know.” He replies. As I'd suspected, my thoughts were correct. “A bit, as to why, I have no clue.” I make a mental note to breach the topic later. 

I find Anna sitting on the rooftop balcony of her alchemy tower, looking out over the lake and at the mountains in the distance. With a sigh I sit down next to her and we sit in silence for a few moments. “The iliac bay is beautiful this time of year…” Anna says abruptly, to who she’s talking to exactly, to me or to herself, I’m not entirely sure...I look at her as she continues staring out at the scenery with a blank but slightly sad expression on her face. “Anna?” I ask, and she looks at me “Are you homesick?” 

With that question I may as well stepped on a landmine. Anna’s eyes well up with tears and she nods slowly, whimpering  before bursting  into sobs...Poor thing. I hold out my arms as a silent way of saying “I’m here if you need a hug” and Anna crawls over and into my lap. “Do you want to visit your parents?” I ask carding a hand through her hair and get a sniffle and a soft “uh huh” in reply as Anna buries her head against my shoulder and continues to cry.

We stay there for some time, Anna and I, sitting on the balcony of the tower. Continuing to sob, Anna clings to me as I sit quietly allowing her to cry, attempting to calm her down, and occasionally asking a question or two. For the most part, I just sit there running a hand along her back as the other keeps her stable and look around at my surroundings. The midsummer nights allow us to stay there long after it would have normally gotten dark. 

Eventually, Anna falls asleep from exhaustion, or normal tiredness, or perhaps a combination of both. My attempts to wake her are futile, nor do I have the heart to want to wake her. Instead I simply pick her up and carry her back downstairs. I place Anna carefully on the bed, making note of the time and plan to wake her in half an hour. As Anna sleeps, I call her parents and inform them that she misses them quite a lot, and would like to come visit, as usual, they’re quite happy about the possibility. 

“Hey, you, wake up.” I gently shake Anna’s shoulder and she opens her eyes sleepily. “You fell asleep up on the balcony. Do you want anything to eat? Have you had dinner?” Anna shakes her head. “No as in not hungry? Or no as in I haven’t eaten dinner?” Anna responds to the second one and sits up sleepily. 

While it isn’t much, Anna downs a couple of pieces of toast and a glass of water, along with her medication. Not exactly a full meal, but better than nothing. Having finished Anna returns back upstairs and flops on to the bed. “If you’re going to go to bed you should probably take a bath first, or at least just change your clothes?” On that note Anna rolls over with a slight groan “right, forgot about that.” She gets up and trudges over to the dresser, getting her clothes and going to take a bath. The door closes for a moment before opening again “Um...would you mind helping me?” Anna sheepishly asks, poking her head out. “Get undressed? Eh why not, it’s not like I haven’t done it before.” I reply and Anna opens the door “Buttons are hard...“ she mutters closing it behind her. Fine motor skills, apparently a skill in need of quite a bit of continued work. 

“You’re right, these are difficult.” I murmur fiddling with the buttons on her shirt before eventually getting it undone, after that it comes off easily. Having gotten undressed the rest of the way herself Anna climbs into the bath and spreads out with a sigh “You know, despite the heat, a warm bath is quite nice.” She remarks with a slight smile. “So, why have you been so homesick lately?” I ask leaning against the wall. Anna shrugs “Not entirely sure. Do you ever have those moments where you’re like ‘fuck, I really miss home!’ Or is that just me?” I cross my arms “I doubt it’s just you, but considering home is never too far away, considering whiterun is situated in the middle of the country, can’t say I’ve experienced it myself. Valan probably does though, he was wondering about you earlier today when I ran into him.” Anna nods “you’re probably right, I’ll have to ask him.” She says swishing the water around. “On a different note entirely...get out, I’m going to get dressed.” And on that cue, I take my leave, closing the door behind me to allow her some privacy. 

After getting dressed Anna writes a note to ask Valan about what he does when he misses home and leaves it on the bedside table for tomorrow before crawling into bed and promptly falling asleep again. I on the other hand, stay up for about an hour longer before going to bed. 

From what I remember, Daggerfall is quite a nice city, though I’ve only visited a few times with Anna. In a way, it reminds me of Whiterun, but far larger, and situated right on the Iliac bay. If you squint while on the docks, you might be able to very slightly see Hammerfell across the bay. I sift through memories as I lay there waiting for sleep to take me. 

When I wake up in the morning I find Anna curled up against my side, but already awake, if barely. “Did you sleep ok?” I ask carefully picking her up and placing her on top of me, I get a sleepy nod in return. “Still sleepy?” Another nod and she closes her eyes again. I glance over at the clock, it’s only quarter past six...we must have been up until nearly midnight with how late the sun was out. “You can go back to sleep, you know.” I tell Anna, moving a stray piece of hair away from her face. Anna makes a small noise and her entire body seems to melt against me, no pun intended with the heatwave, and promptly goes back to sleep. I set the alarm for nine and close my eyes again, even if I don’t necessarily sleep, the additional rest is nice.

Anna wakes up promptly at nine o’clock, a few seconds before the alarm in fact and turns it off quickly. “I really hate that noise, you know.” She says turning it off. “Why? Because it means you have to get out of bed?” Anna nods with a small smirk “Precisely”. 

It takes a little more than a week before we arrive in Daggerfall, including packing time and negotiating with Aelas mother to very generously babysit for Sofie and Runa, though I’m sure those two are more than fine on their own given their past circumstances. The city is much as I remember it, if not the same. Anna’s parents as always are happy to see us, and are very gracious hosts. Anna seems to enjoy herself, and we run into some old friends while we’re there. Overall, the trip is a success in all accounts. 

“So, feel better since we went to visit your parents?” I ask Anna one night after we had returned. Anna nods sleepily and moves closer toward me “It’s nice to know the city hasn’t changed much while I’ve been gone.” She says leaning her head against me and closing her eyes, but then lifts her head up again and looks at me “It must be sad- not having parents…” she murmurs. I shrug “What I think is if you never knew them, it’s not quite as sad. Besides, Aelas mother, Tilma, and the rest of that lot became a sort of makeshift family, it’s the least they could do- really.” Anna tilts her head curiously “Do you miss your parents?” She asks, I shake my head “Never knew them, like I said. So, no- I don’t.” I explain, we’ve had this conversation before. Anna stares at me for a moment, before turning her head to look out the window “The iliac bay is much prettier than whatever lake that is.” She says with a slight disgusted tone which makes me chuckle slightly. She looks back at me then “what? It’s true!” She says throwing her hands up. I pat her head slightly “I know, I know,  the bay is very pretty, with the Direnni tower, too. Skyrim is mostly woods, tundra, and plains or mountains- great if you like the wilderness, not so much if you’re more metropolitan.” I say with a smirk “And considering you started running the other way the first time you saw a skeever- I would put you in the second category.” Anna huffs and sits up “They’re basically giant rats! Who likes giant rats? Not me!!” I think the combination of sleepiness and mild opinionated annoyance masks to her that I find this entire conversation to be rather hilarious. “Alright, enough about the wilderness and giant rats and lakes- time for bed.” I wrap her in a tight hug and lay back down, Anna becomes quiet and closes her eyes- but not before one more sarcastic comment. I must admit- I’m not surprised. The earlier conversation does make me think though, I must admit, and having thought about it more I stand by the notion that it really does take a village to raise a child, or children in the case of twins. It’s understandable, the questions, but it does make one think about their circumstances. 

Sometimes I wonder how it is Anna truly ended up in Skyrim, it’s a harsh and unforgiving land, with its fair share of harsh people, if not downright evil ones. It’s easy to see why she would long for home in a place that’s about as open to outsiders of any kind  as The Camonna Tong is to non Morrowind natives. While she’s adjusted well overall, homesickness is certainly understandable. And with that thought late at night I finally fall into a deep and dreamless sleep.