Not Again... (Anna)

These stupid headaches, all the time for the past few weeks my heads been annoying me intensely, making stuff fuzzy, making me dizzy, just being unable to concentrate. I hate it! Being in Windhelm doesn't much help the fact. And whys that you ask? Windhelm is one of the farthest north cities in Skyrim, and is "The snowiest city in Skyrim." It even snows less in Winterhold! And that's right on the northern tip of the country near the sea of ghosts! Also the city is old, very old. It was founded in The First Era, which lasted 2920 years. Then the second era which lasted I don't quite remember, somewhere around 258 years or so. Then the Third Era which lasted 433 years, and it's the 201st year of the Fourth Era. The city has large looming stone walls, that make you feel claustrophobic and at least slightly scared. Well me at least. I wander through the house, first upstairs and get a small towel quickly drying my hair, then quickly bound down the stairs and plop down in a chair. My head falls back against it, my eyes close. The rooms spinning again, ugh. "My head hurts!" I groan to no one in particular. Farkas is sitting over at a table writing something.  I open my eyes again, good the rooms back to normal. I look at him for a minute before he notices. He puts down the pen and gets up, walking over to me. "You okay?" He asks taking my hand. I shrug "my head hurts." He puts a protective arm around me "I know. You see Dr. Robbins tomorrow." He says. Dr Robbins is my neurologist, and the head of my team of doctors, of which there is a lot of. "Are we just seeing dr Robbins tomorrow?" I ask, because usually those appointments can take hours. "Maybe. I think he might get a few others from your team though. Like Radiology and Oncology." Farkas replies. Oh please say not oncology please not again.

The Next Day...

We sit in Dr. Robbins office, waiting and waiting and waiting. To pass the time we played I-Spy and numerous games like tic tac toe and Rock Paper Scissors, but those quickly got boring too. I swing my legs back and forth sitting on the exam table. Then we hear a knock on the door and quickly stop what ever behavior we were doing. Dr Robbins enters the room and shakes both our hands. "So what seems to be the matter Anna my friend?" He asks sitting over by his computer. I respond in one word "headaches." I say. Farkas fills in the details "starting a few weeks ago she started getting chronic headaches, feeling dizzy, and more frequent seizures." Dr. Robbins nods and types some things. He examines me and then goes to get another dr and a copy of the Mri I had done last week. Dr Shen walks in. She's my oncologist. Oh no. "Well, miss Lenox. It seems you have a small tumor in your brain. Though most likely nomcancerous its best to get removed sooner rather than later." Dr Robbins says with a sad sigh. My mouth opens to say something, but I can't. I have no words. I wrong my hands in confusion and frustration. It was hard enough the first time and I only remembered half of it. No. No no no no no. Not again. "I'd like to have you admitted and start treatment immediately. The tumor is small, and we could remove it as early as next week." I swallow and nod. Still no words. Dr Robbins says he is sorry and he'll see me soon. Then exits the room. Dr. Shen writes some things on a paper, then says she will see us later. Then leaves too. I get down from the table and just stand there for a minute. Then start to cry. "Why does this have to happen again?! It was bad enough when I was two why! Why! It's not fair!" I say with a sob. Farkas does his best to calm me down and reassure me, it works somewhat, but not completely. We then exit the neurology clinic and go up to the oncology floor. We check in and a nurse shows me to my room. At least it has a nice view. I sit on the bed quietly waiting as the nurse comes back with some cloths. I change into them and then one of the anesthesiology staff comes back with an IV. They probe around by arms and hands, I'm a hard stick, have been since I was born. Eventually she finds a not totally shit vein and then tells me "okay you'll feel a little pinch. Here it comes." And then in the IV goes. By the nine that hurt for a minute, then the pain subsides and I just have a tube coming out of my left arm. Yay. The nurse says as she hooks a little plastic thing onto the IV holder and connects it to the tube "okay. Here comes the chemo. You'll need three to four rounds of this. Here's round one. It's not a very large tumor and only needs to be shrunk a little bit. You'll be out of here in no time." And then turns a machine on. Ow, ow ow ow ow. I forgot that this shit burns when you first get it. I bit my lip "fuck that hurts." The nurse then says "pardon?" I look at her "oh I just said it kind of burns a bit. Forgot about that." She nods "most people experience some pain at first. It's normal." She says and walks out saying just to call if I need anything. I just sit there for a while, waiting until all the liquid is gone. The nurse, Shannon is her name. Comes back and and changes out the IV to just sterilized water to make sure I have enough fluids, and then hands me a dinner menu. I order dinner then rest until it comes. Picking at a few bites  then pushing the rest away. Farkas pushes the plate back towards me, I push it away again, he pushes it back. "Stop!" I say pushing it away for the last time. He gives up and puts it over on the counter and puts the cover on it. Then sits on the edge of the bed "in going to go home quickly. You want anything?" My brain rapidly thinks of things "uhh can I have a change of cloths, the book that's on my night table, that little grey stuffed bunny that I have, and my laptop. Please." I say. Farkas grabs a scrap of paper and writes them down. He then takes out my iPad from his bag and puts it in my lap "so you don't get bored." He says with a smile. Then leaves the room, and then the hospital. And I'm alone. I look around. Naming the different pieces of medical equipment, playing little games with myself. Then unlock my tablet and click the fireworks app. It's literally just an app that anywhere you press fireworks show up, it doesn't take any coordination. Just tap stuff and watch. I amuse myself with that until Farkas comes back with my cloths. I change into a grey tee shirt and brown sleeping pants. I look at myself in the mirror. I'd had my hair cut just a few days ago. It goes to around my chin now, and is in a short ponytail, this is the length I usually have it. I then go back into the room and climb back into the bed. Taking one last look around. I'll be here for at least two weeks. Week one is trying to shrink the tumor and then week two is removing the tumor and recovery. Not again.

This was based off me, with that rumor that they unexpectedly found during an MRI and then gave me a tiny bit of medication to shrink it and then removed it.

Also based off a semi sad dream I had

Until next time,
Max