"No place like home"... (Alarian)

"There's no place like home is there?" Marien asks. I gulp and my eyes prickle with tears, because it's true, there's no place like home. And I never knew mine. I feel myself start to cry and hurriedly leave the room, running through the dimly light corridors of SkyHold, the Inquisitons head quarters. I run into Cullen by mistake and shove my way past him and continue going. The words resonating in my head over and over "no place like home, no place like home, no place like home." And then after what seems like forever I get to my room, I close the door with a slam and sit down on the floor, curled up, pathetically crying like a child who was yelled at. Then I remember the words Marien Jade once said to me in one of our many arguments "Your used to this, never staying put. Not belonging anywhere!!!" And it's true, I don't belong anywhere. I take out the dagger from my pocket and roll up my selves. "Pathetic" one slash. "Stupid" another, "annoying" three more. I switch to my other arm "Crazy" one. "No one cares about you" two more. "You don't belong anywhere" two more again. I put the knife down and look at my arms, I have ten fresh cuts on my arms. I hear a knocking on the door and quickly hide my arms and go sit on my bed. Leliana opens the door softly closing it as she walks in. She comes over to me and sits down "are you ok Alarian?" She asks putting her arm around me. "What do you think, do I look ok?" I reply bitterly. Leliana takes her shirt sleeve and wipes away my tears "why are you crying?" She asks. "Because of what she said! What Marien said!" I say frustratedly. Leliana sighs, looks at me and says "you know what, I'm gonna say this. Don't give a damn about what Marien says, ok. She doesn't understand what you've been through, where you come from, okay so with what she says just have it go in one ear and out the other." I nod and she gives me a hug and looks at my hands because I didn't move them when she went to hug me. "Let my see your wrists." I shake my head. "Alarian, let me see your wrists please." Leliana says more firmly, I roll my sleeves up showing the wounds I had made some ten minutes back. You can see the red marks on my shirt after I roll them up, bad day to wear white I guess. She shakes her head sadly "I thought we had finally gotten you out of this habit, it's not good to do Ali, no matter how useless or stupid you feel, and that's not true because your one of the most intelligent people I've ever met and have a million awesome uses! Do. Not. Cut. Yourself. Please." She says and goes to get the bandage and a wet cloth to clean up the cuts. After a while of sitting and talking we go back to the war table room, Marien says when I walk in "well look who came back, little miss crazy. What were you crying about now? Have a nightmare during the day?" I look at her with a frown "hahaha very funny. I was crying because of what you said earlier 'no place like home' well not all of us have a home or even know where we're from in the first place, namely, me!" The rest of the inquisition gasps at my last comment. "what you didn't know that I was adopted? Well I was, if you take a five second look at the rest of my family and me it's fairly obvious." I say to the inquisition, then turning to Marien I say "you should watch how you phrase things and what you say Jade." Marien Jade gives me a look then says coldly "fight me again Cousland and this time I'll put another sword in your ribs but I'll make sure it doesn't come out this time!" And storms from the room. Cullen and Vivenne go after her, now it's just me, Josie and Leliana. Josie says after a few minutes of silence "Don't worry Ali, she won't hurt you. I won't let her." And Leliana nods in agreement. I guess you don't need a home to have a family. I wonder who my real family is...